How I Avoided A Carjacking

Over the weekend, I was carjacked. Well, if my carjacker was laidback and gave up pretty easily, then, yes, I was carjacked. And while I don’t think my life was ever in real danger, it still was helpful to remind me of some best practices when you’re out late/in the dark/by yourself.

I was coming home from a late work event with a colleague and we pulled over on a side street to pick up some collateral marketing materials. I stayed in the car just because I had a little nagging feeling like I shouldn’t leave the car, even though I would return quickly. A man and woman walked toward the car while I was in the passenger seat. I thought about locking the doors, but didn’t want to seem rude. Then I thought, “No, I don’t care if I look rude, I’m doing it anyway. Better to be safe.” And sure enough, the man walked right up to the driver’s side window, which was rolled down, to ask if I could give them a ride. Of course, I said no, politely but firmly.

“We live around here, we’re not scumbags,” he said. I don’t think my tone had ever suggested that I thought he was a scumbag, just that I could not give him a ride. Further, the need to positively state you are NOT a scumbag only adds to the feeling that you might be a scumbag.

“I’m sorry, I really can’t,” I again politely and firmly stated. “We don’t even have seats in the back.” Which was true, we had cargo all over the back of the car and could not have fit them in even if we wanted to. I wasn’t going to prove that to him, but it really was the truth.

“I hope that someday you need a ride, and someone won’t give you one,” he begrudgingly replied, and then relented. The whole exchange lasted about a minute, and my coworker was out of the car no more than two minutes. If I had hopped out to help her collected the signs, this couple could’ve happened upon our running car and taken off.

Now who’s to say the couple I met was really a danger to me, I don’t know. But whether or not they were, I’m glad I practiced a few methods of thinking. A) I trusted my gut when I decided to not get out of the car. B) I leaned over and locked the car door in full view of the couple as they walked toward me and disregarded any concern I had about appearing rude.

Something predators count on is women’s need to please others, a need to be viewed as nonjudgmental people. Sure, I looked judgmental to them, but if I hadn’t leaned over, they might have hopped right in to the car. And I wasn’t swayed by the guilt trip he tried to lay when he suggested I thought he was a scumbag. If I had been at all concerned of what he thought of me or my actions, I might have opened myself to a more harmful situation.

So I guess what I’m saying is, I was never harmed, but I’m glad I acted in ways that kept me from being harmed.

Keywords:

 violence, scared, safety, protection, crime, car, women