Getting the strength I need to leave an abusive marriage

I am praying to God that he will give you the strength that you need to realize that you are in a very bad situation. You need to get yourself and your babies out of there quickly. He will continue to make you belive that he is going to change, all the while continue to beat you up, emotionally and now physically. You can not take the risk of him physically hurting the kids. Please take care of yourself and your babies. Praying for you....

I was in your situation. I could say lots of things right now, but most importantly...get away! I am sitting here telling you this by the grace of God only. Nearly two years ago I was looking down the barrel of a revolver brandished by my now ex-husband of 9 years. I tried to tell him for a couple of years that I wanted out, but stayed (in separate rooms) for the sake of my children. I felt alone and he had convinced me I would lose my kids if I left him. It didn't seem like I could support myself. I tried to look at the "reality" of the situation but I was being manipulated. The problem with manipulators is that they will stop at nothing to get their way. I too went to counseling with him and the counselor saw right through what he was doing to me. My situation ended up with a brutal night of my ex "convincing" me that I was not going to leave him. He is serving 14 years in prison for that night two years ago.
I have learned that I can make it on my own. There is help out there for your situation. You will survive. Don't wait and let it get bad like I did. Turn to your friends or family. In my situation I had a helpful neighbor that took my kids and I in. In the absence of that there are many other places such as Raphael House that can help you get away. I also believe that my situation happened for a reason. I hope that me taking the time to share it with you will help you know that you can do it!

I'm a domestic violence counselor. I guarantee you, that you need to see a domestic violence counselor or someone who is trained in this type of counseling.

Leaving is the most dangerous time. Don't just pack up and leave. You're going to have to plan things out and have a safety plan in order. You may want to keep these things to yourself because, like I said, leaving is the most dangerous time and the physical violence increases and so does your chance of being killed.

Domestic Violence Resource Center (DVRC) has a shelter for DV survivors. It's in an undisclosed location. You stay until you find some place to live and work. The DVRC also has counseling services for DV survivors and their children. It is a free service. FREE. This is because it's a non-profit organization. I worked there at one point and highly recommend going or at least checking it out. The website is www.dvrc-or.org. The number is 503.640.5352.

Here's another suggestion. If your husband physically harms you in front of the children, or if your children are in the house (even in their room), you need to call the police because if you don't, Department of Human Services considers this neglect to your children and your children may be taken away from you. Keyword being MAY. They investigate these things.

Let me know if you have any questions or need advice.

I too was in an abusive relationship, I was married/living with him for 16 years. Actually he left to Texas for the summer, like he always did and decided to take the 2 oldest children. My parents also went to Texas and brought my kids home after a month, that is when he called and I told him I didn't want him to come back to the house I had the locks changed and all. It has been 5 years since that call...and he still has not changed he still tries to play those mind games, it just doesn't. Yes, i agree with Kemma71 if there is distance between the 2 that is the best, but not always the choice you have, so make sure that you start going to Domestic Violence Counselor so that they can help you make a plan to get out or let you know of some services that can help. In my situation, I have had my ups and downs financially and also getting my kids adjusted and in counseling, but one thing that never changed since the day he left is he is not the one making the choice for me to be happy or sad or angry. I make my own choice to be happy no matter how my day goes I am so much happier and safer without him & so are my children. It has been rough for me & my kids but having family and friends to support emotionally is the best.

I really feel about this article? Whether l written and certainly interesting to read and discuss
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against opponents who play demagoguery and put a spoke in the wheels as the only path that can take power in turn through the democratic process.

And this I can say with absolute certainty. I've watched my mum put up with an abusive relationship for 11 years. I was there when it started, age 12, and I'm sad to say she's still there, and he is worse than ever - now I'm 24. I'm still trying to get her to leave the marriage all this time later. I tried over and over since they got married, and now so far on it's even harder for her to leave. Get the hell out now, take your twins and raise them beautiful and happy before living through family violence takes its toll on them as well. You don't deserve to be treated that way by your husband - you're doing the right thing.