Maybe when you first saw him you were flooded with the spirit of burning love eternal. Two years later you fight with him over the way he puts plates in the dishwasher. You can have all the star-crossed love in the world, but a healthy and happy relationship is based on the little considerations. Sure, Romeo and Juliet died for one another but guess whose bags would be packed and sitting by the front door when Romeo came home late after carousing with Benvolio for the third time that week? If you want to know the real keys to a successful relationship, put down the Harlequin romance and read on.

Fight Nice:

Fights are unavoidable. In fact, they are necessary. A healthy fight can be like the cleansing burn that prevents a forest fire. Even fighting, however, needs rules. When fighting, never argue in front of others. Never, ever insult each other in front of people. It’s just hurtful and lacks class. Don’t go to bed angry and certainly don’t threaten a breakup or divorce.

A fight is a momentary explosion and is quickly gone. If you can keep that in mind and not do things that create lasting damage in the heat of the moment, you can make sure your fights are little more than speed bumps in your relationship.

Take Interest In Their Interests:

Do you have to love the stuff he loves to love him? Of course not. I mean, the guy still has his G.I. Joes from third grade. That aside, it’s important to know the things he likes, the things that drive and inspire him. If you don’t know what his favorite movie is, you should plan to find out and watch it with him at the earliest convenience. If there is something he has always wanted to do, like write a book, encourage him. We are the things we enjoy, and when you say you want to know more about his likes you are saying you want to know more about him. Expressing an interest in his interests shows you are invested in him.

Don’t Forget You Care:

Remember to compliment your spouse. Leave a little love note for them to find once in awhile. Celebrate the day you first met. You should continuously make little deposits in your spouse's emotional bank account. The return on your investment can be great.

Learn To Listen Better:

If you’re idea of listening is nodding along while you read a book, then it’s time to brush up on your technique. Honest, caring listening requires the removal of distraction. Turn off the TV, put down the book. Maybe you can even help your partner be a better listener for you. Men often listen to their other for problems, something they can solve. Let your partner know that you are talking not to again a solution, but to relate what you are feeling.

Respect Trust:

You can’t break the rules on this one. That means no snooping through his stuff even “just once in a while.” Suspicion only begets more suspicion and spying is not the way to an honest relationship. Take a lesson from our government and remember that when you secretly spy on people it makes everyone look bad. Whether you have justification or not, suspicion and spying just pulls people apart.

Have Fun:

Ideally, your partner is also a best friend. Don’t let the fact you are in a relationship keep you from letting loose. Enjoy yourselves. Not every night is a romantic evening. Sometimes it’s driving go-carts or staying up all night talking. If you two haven’t had fun in a while, rediscover it.