We've all experienced it. At a party, in the middle of a conversation, maybe even at home with family, somebody says something outrageous. The words echo in your head. Did I hear that right? Did they really say that? How could they? What made them think that was okay? What were they thinking!!

Your heart starts to pound harder and harder. Maybe your face gets red. You've got a few choice words you'd like to say to them.

Before you say or do anything, consider the following suggestions:

1. At the very least, give it time. Do not respond immediately. Better yet, sleep on it.

2. Rethink what you heard. Did you get it right or did you hear what you thought was said? Be honest with yourself.

3. If you can't let it go, talk it over with a trusted friend, or someone else who was there and heard what you did.

4. Think it over. Listen anew, really hear what that person had to say. Doesn't it say more about them than it does about you?

5. If you must respond, pick your words carefully. YOU cannot take them back.

And no, you don't have to let the anger out. You need to learn how to let it go.

If you can, even in the most outrageous instances, say nothing. Let it fall away, water off a duck's back. Even if what they've said flies against mankind's innate well being, don't give the negativity credence by a response.

Violence in word and deed creates more violence, to others and to yourself. Some people refer to it as "taking the high road." In any case, allow yourself to soften and find your kindness. Be quiet. Pass forward goodwill.